Goodbye and good riddance, Google Analytics

So I finally booted Google Analytics from PainScience.com. Buh-bye forever, GA! You won’t be missed. 👋🏻

I used that service for eighteen years! And more reluctantly every year.

In theory, that infinite avalanche of data can inspire savvy strategic publishing changes. Maybe the articles with the ten worst “bounce rates” on the site should have more infectious intros? Write some sparkling prose and then sit back and watch those bounce rates improve? Maybe. It’s a seductive idea for anyone with a spreadsheet-loving mind.

In practice? Pffft. 🙄 I tried hundreds of data-driven content tweaks like that back in the day and frankly I never got one clear dang win. It was always like trying to knock over a punching dummy. I was often amazed how even glaring glitches would have no effect.

For example, online businesses work hard to optimize their buy buttons and cart funnels. And you’d really think that a big formatting mistake — something truly fugly — would really slam “clickthrough rate,” right? Surely? Frank errors “should” produce more dramatic signs than minor design changes!

But nope. Again and again I saw bricks tossed into the data pond without making so much as a ripple. Weird. 🤷🏻‍♂️

It’s almost like people don’t much care what a buy button looks like. Like they probably accept or even embrace the quirks of a small business.

See enough examples like that and you start thinking maybe finicky A/B testing of tiny 🤏🏻 design differences might be a waste of your frickin’ time!

And so good riddance. I have better things to do, and I always did. I shudder to think how much time I sunk into those experiments. Now I just write/publish what works for me … and to hell with analytics and SEO.