No joke: my Epsom salts article is now funnier. Whimsy added where possible, for example the paragraph about vaginal absorption:
A number of readers have asked if the vagina might be an absorption route. A fair question, but this has the same problem as anal absorption: too small and too tight. After quizzing several amused female friends about it, I am confident that it would be highly irregular for any respectable quantity of bath water to percolate into one’s ya-ya.