Laura Allen, Massage Therapist, sassing about the packaging and commercialization of massage techniques (usually called “modalities” by therapists):
Join me for a class in the Laura Allen Method, where you will learn how to slap the hell out of people claiming to invent new modalities. How many more do we need? Is there any real possibility that no one has done it before in the history of the universe? As an added bonus I will throw in my special class in Redneck Massage, where I will simultaneously perform cryotherapy and roll out those stress knots with a cold can of Pabst Blue Ribbon while I use duct tape to train your muscles. Whenever I perform a particularly impressive move, I will yell "Hey, watch this sht!" so you'll be sure to repeat it exactly.
Laura racked up a whopping 200+ likes for this comment on her Facebook page, plus many dozens of supportive and appreciative comments. Nice to see that, because I’ve been griping about the modality empires for over a decade.